Mom Jean Confessions: #WomInspired

In honor of The Second Shift’s #WomInspired campaign, I thought I would share my own story of empowerment and the very special professional role model I had that led me to a happier place as a woman, a mother, and a professional. The importance of women lifting each other up and serving as positive role models and mentors to those around us cannot be overstated. I was fortunate enough to work alongside Tracy Seng in my nearly five years at Los Angeles Magazine – someone who inspired my career, and has always supported those around her to follow their own path.

Over three years ago, I was just like any new mom struggling to fit all the pieces together. My boss at the time, even though she hated being called “boss” (so I endearingly called her “girl boss” or “boss friend”), was leading a very talented and diverse marketing team at Los Angeles Magazine. Tracy was one of those bosses whose door was literally always open, and who never once made you feel like your personal life and well-being was any less important than the professional role you played on her team. She was also the first to share her own struggles balancing life and work, which only made her all the more human and easier to talk to when push came to shove. I can still remember the first time I went to her, desperate to figure out how I was going to manage a full-time job and the overwhelming new feeling of being away from my baby. Even though she never had kids of her own, her compassion and empathy never made you feel like she didn’t relate or know how hard of a life-change you were going through. She always made a point to bring out the positive sides of any situation – saying how fortunate we were to work on an amazing team and actually enjoy the work we did. It was true, and more importantly she understood the need for flexibility in my schedule which was not something any of us anticipate before having children. But what was even more admirable about her role as a mentor, was that she also never discounted the individual passions that each of her team members held. For me, it was my blog. Instead of being threatened by the time it could take away from my work, I’ll never forget when she told me to never let go of what I’m passionate about. On a personal level, it meant the world to me to not have to feel like I had to hide what I also loved doing: writing and styling. On a professional level, looking back on it now, it’s probably the single most important thing a boss can do to support her team. It not only ensures your people stay happy, but it also enhances the work that they do because you’re fostering employees who are more enriched and diverse.

It had been two years of trying to settle into my new role as a mom, and figuring out how I was going to balance a career on top of all that. It definitely wasn’t an easy road, and I had more existential breakdowns in my “bosses” office than I’d like to admit, but one thing was for sure – Tracy always made me see the value of my work and the potential that I had, even when you feel like being a mom drains you of all your energy and drive. I still didn’t have all the answers, but something inside of me told me I had to be true to myself and more importantly to my role model who had been there for me from day one. As much as I wanted to push on and live up to every expectation she had for me, I knew in my heart something was pulling me in the opposite direction. So we talked about it and I told her how my husband and I were thinking of moving back home to Houston, and that I needed to figure out another way to get my life back in balance. It was the hardest thing I’ve had to do, because I felt like I was letting her down. She of course put on a strong front for me, and in later conversations told me that sometimes when we aren’t supposed to go down a certain path, the door stays shut so tight and that way we know we’ve made the right choice. In the months since our move from LA, I’ve found a peace that I didn’t even realize existed. Yes, life is still throwing curve-balls at us, but I’m settling into a place where I can now work from home and have more time to devote to my blog. My son and I have more of a bond now than I could have ever imagined, which I never once take for granted – especially since we’ll be welcoming a daughter into our family in August.

I look back now on the past three years and can’t believe how fast time has flown, and how much I’ve learned along the way. So much of that I have Tracy, my mentor and “boss friend,” to thank for. She keeps rolling with the punches and living up to her own standards every day, and I hope she knows how many lives she’s touched along the way.

Mom Jean Confessions: Leap Year

Everyone knows 2016 was a crapshoot. I don’t think I know one single person who couldn’t wait for it to be over. So as I was mulling over just how to put into words what this year meant for us, it dawned on me – 2016 was a leap year. Now try and follow me here. A leap year, in both the literal and metaphorical sense, means to correct drift. So if you think about it – all 2016 was meant to do was get us back in synch and help us find our true North. I don’t know about you, but the older I get and the more complicated life is – it only seems harder and harder to follow my internal compass. But 2016 was a year for reflecting and looking inward, whether I wanted to or not. Many of you have read my initial recap of this year that I wrote back in Sept. Well a lot, and I mean A LOT, has happened since then.

In October, our son turned three. Which may not seem like such a huge deal – but suddenly all those warnings about “ohhh it’s not the terrible twos, it’s the terrible threes” – came true. Now I’m not one to go on and on about the injustices of motherhood, cuz quite frankly, it shouldn’t be news to anyone that being a parent is hard. And I chose it, so why whine about it, right? I simply must say that it truly is a humbling experience. I mean, how often in life do you get to be thrown into a completely new situation that comes with no real training (prenatal classes don’t count), and has no promise for what the end outcome will be? There’s no degree or diploma that a group of older moms gives to you after you complete two years of service. There’s only this wonderful, innocent, trusting individual that God has entrusted you with, and they are the only ones that truly govern the way life is from here on out. I don’t mean to sound like I let my child rule my life – I just mean to express just how one simple thing like turning a year older for them, impacts a whole family dynamic. It was like overnight we found ourselves in a whole new ball game. There would be times that we’d look at each other and think – is this normal, do we just let him get it out and see what tomorrow brings? And then other times it was like we were handed the ball with 10 seconds left in the game, and if we didn’t handle this the right way – that was the end of the season for us. But for the most part, what we’ve learned is balance. Balance between how we react (or don’t react in most cases), and teaching our son, who knows exactly what buttons to push to make both of our heads spin, how to balance his own emotions. It hasn’t been easy, trust us, but we’ll get there. Before we know it he’ll be turning another year older, bringing on a whole new set of challenges and victories.

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In November, we closed on our first house. It was the fixer upper we’d been searching for, even ever since we lived in LA. Crazy how things happen, and this might be the craziest of all for us to date. Grant and his dad had been talking about fixing up and flipping houses for over a year now, but it wasn’t until a one-story HUD foreclosure in Clear Lake popped up on our radar that it become a reality. We contacted the local realtor who helped us place a bid online, and we waited nearly a week to find out that HUD accepted our offer but only as a back-up. Well for whatever reason, weeks go by and Grant decided to randomly look through the listings from that same realtor, and the house was back on the market. We still have no idea to this day what happened – did the other offer fall through, was there something majorly wrong with the house and they backed out? (we later learned that the latter hunch wasn’t that far off). Anyway, we put another bid on the house (even lower this time), and in HUD terms that I won’t bother to bore you with, they accepted. We pretty much couldn’t believe it – we were about to be homeowners. We, who have bounced around from apartment to apartment since college and since we met 12 years ago – were about to have the home we always dreamed about. But that’s about where the fairy tale ends. Not to sound ungrateful, because trust me we will forever be that. But if you have adopted as unhealthy of an addiction as we have to all the HGTV shows about flipping homes – you probably can guess what happened next. After days/weeks of sleuth-like investigating (and intel from some very insightful neighbors), we learned that the house hadn’t actually been lived in for six years. Um, what? Which meant that all the utility meters had been removed, which meant us calling around to the city of Houston, along with the local gas, electric, and water services to try and coordinate what could possibly be the residential gaggle of the century. The plumbing ended up not being as big of a deal as we thought, other than the fact that the pool had been neglected for six years and was now a veritable swamp that our neighbors informed us was like the frog plague before HUD came and boarded it up. What actually ended up baffling even “my father-in-law the hero” and 5+ electricians – was the wackodoo wiring that some apparent novice had installed throughout the house, causing lights in one room to switch off lights in a bathroom halfway down the hallway, and wires so crossed (literally) it took over a month to get it sorted out – and we’re still finding random issues. But alas, we’re all moved in and Garrett is loving the new house with all the space in the world to run around. We also lucked into the neighbors of the century who are the sweetest couple from Baylor (I think that’s as close to Chip and Joanna as we’re gonna get), and Garrett adores playing with their two little girls. The wife and I hit it off, and she’s even introduced me to her fellow mommy tribe, which as a new mom, you need more than anything. Our plan is to tackle the house project-by-project, which we happen to really be loving. It’s a good thing, cuz renovating an entire house while living in it is not for the faint at heart. I promise to get my act together and organize all my random before/after photos, so that I can start a series of blog posts for all you fixer upper lovers out there.

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In November, Grant started a new job. The job, in fact. The job that he had more or less gone back to grad school for seven years ago. The job that inadvertently fell in his lap at the beginning of the year, and then got snatched away all too soon a few months later. The job that made us finally pull the trigger and move back to Houston, not knowing if it would actually one day lead to the job – but it did. Taking that leap was not easy for my husband or me, but after a whole summer of networking and countless conversations – he finally got a start date after Thanksgiving. I don’t have to tell you how the irony of that timing was not lost on us. We could not have been more thankful, and it didn’t take us long at all to settle into our new routine. As for my job front – I’m still trying to work through all the logistics of starting a new business. Cammeo Head to Toe Styling officially soft launched on the blog – you can check out the announcement here. I even ordered business cards and had my first closet makeover client with a couple more in the pipeline 🙂 Since I also want to leverage my digital marketing experience, but from a remote work environment – I’ve been talking with companies I’ve found through The Second Shift and PowerToFly about various opportunities. So stay tuned and keep your fingers crossed!

In the midst of toddler tantrums, house demands, and new routines – we are allowing ourselves a minute to pause and celebrate a very long year come to a close. While we may not have started out knowing it was going to be a “leap year”, I can’t possibly think of a better way to encompass all we’ve been through. We may have drifted, but our sails are set due North. Lord only knows what 2017 will bring…

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